where am i hiding?

So I lost my simcard the other night. My phone was playing up and I was swapping the card in and out of my phone into other peoples' phones and then, somehow, somewhere between the wine and the cigarettes, it disappeared. It'll probably turn up somewhere, in the cat's stomach, but in the meantime I am rendered uncontactable which, though slightly disconcerting, is actually kinda cool. No-one can reach me. At all. It's like turning the phone off, but it's totally guilt-free. I plan to make this a bi-monthly exercise, a forced one-week of exile from the land of communication. Of course, disappointingly, Facebook has become my default home page and I've developed some gross RSI from hitting the refresh button so often. And, even more disappointingly, it seems no-one really gives a shit that they can't get in touch with me. I managed to tell everyone who ever contacts me what had happened at once, in one room, with one sentence. That's a depressing realisation, when your entire (and once, may I add, illustrious and rich) friendship circle is sitting on one couch, and two of them aren't even paying attention to you.

So this is what's scary about life: being alone. Maybe. Having no-one mind that your phone is broken. Maybe. Having a small couch. Maybe. I say 'maybe' to all these things because it's not a universal fear, is it? Some people like being alone. Some people don't have room for anything more than an armchair. What really IS scary - universally - is being killed or attacked. These are broad categories (well, 'killed' isn't that broad, really) that can encompass many things. You might be attacked by bikies, rapists, monsters, psycho killers or spiders (this is not an exhaustive list, btw). You might get killed quickly by a bus (not that scary) or very slowly by someone with a large knife (quite scary) or very very slowly by many people with lots of knives and masks (the most scary). Masks and knives feature heavily in my fears, irrational or otherwise.

I think it's important to be scared. Apathy is just going to get you killed. Walking home late at night worrying about drunk people or heroin addicts might be a very real worry, but compared with a man in a robe and a mask (a-la Pig Man from SAW) a junkie with a spoon looks like Winnie the fucking Pooh. So, ladies and gents, get ready. Life is just one giant fuckin ghost train, a ride you can't get off, and every so often something lame happens, and every so often you get a little fright, but then every so often something so fucking terrifying and fucked up happens that you literally do wee in your pants.